Black Roses - A HellCat's Confessions
by Lexi-Dark
Summary: With the death of Fiona... comes the confessions of the "HellCat" from Chibs' past. Will the love that they once had for each other reignite or will her Family's secrets destroy them both? Only the strongest survive. Will they?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everybody... I just made a few adjustments to this story so that it would flow better... It's all in past tense now so my writing won't confuse you... Please let me know what you think. Hope you enjoy... Thanks for reading.**

* * *

**Black Roses - A HellCat's Confession**

Can a man be in love with more than one woman? Sometimes I think it's impossible. To ask for that kind of commitment for one is hard enough let alone two.

**Confession:  
**_I know this struggle because the man that has my heart had the heart of another. It was a difficult position to be in but I could only play the hand I was dealt, nothing more nothing less._

_I have to admit... this love came with a price. A steep bounty, and it was never easy. I seemed to always be on the outside looking in. Watching and waiting, not knowing when, or if ever, my turn would come. When even I was around him it was peaceful, thoughtless even._

_But that was some time ago... It was the year prior to my return to Charming for that matter._

_Ah... Charming... it was never a place that I saw as "HOME". To me, it was more of a stop-over, a safety zone for that matter, while I was stateside doing... "business". I regarded it, with its old town feel and lack of modern necessities, as that quiet, out-of-the-way kind of place where no one knew my name or who I was. In my eyes, it was humbly regarded and appreciated for just those reasons. And if I'm going to be truly honest here, there are times that I didn't even want to know me… but that was a price I was willing to pay for the "JOB"._

_The first time I set foot there I realized that anonymity suited this town better than I had ever hoped for… that was until I laid eyes on him… the man from my past. But I should start by introducing myself or at least give you a little history lesson. My name is Amelia Cezar; daughter to Antonio and Catalina Santos, and granddaughter to Alejandro Cezar. I know what you must be thinking but it was the last request of my late grandmother – who bore the same name - and seeing that I was the first granddaughter I would be the one to carry on the name._

_My uncles always told me that I took after Dro, and now that I think about it… I mean really think about it, they were right. But I kept that thought to myself more often than not, because it seemed to be a touchy subject when it came to my father and he made it a point, in one way or another, to make me pay for it as often as he could. Don't get me wrong in-spite of our many differences nothing could change the love I have in my heart for him._

_My grandfather, on the other hand, he loved me more than words could ever express and I feel the exact same way, if not more. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for him so when he extended the position of his "Second" to me I immediately accepted. I have to admit the entire transition rattled a few cages but I knew he chose me for a reason… I move like he does. My thought process is that of a man, so even though I may know "my place" I understood the "business" and the decisions that were being made._

_I think that's what set me apart from every other woman I came across, with the exception of a few... I am able to go to places that only the most dangerous and blood thirsty men dream about… I think that's what brought him back to me. My Scottish lover... he's someone very different, a factor in my life that was totally unexpected... but that was 14 months ago, and I had no idea what to make of it._

_14 months ago… that's when everything changed. When my father's influence played a major role in turning my world upside-down… the event that changed the way I looked at and treated Antonio forever. Understand; I may have love my father but my love didn't go far enough or was even strong enough to get me past what he did. Betrayal is betrayal, and it's a hard thing to forgive and even more-so to forget and that's been in the back of my mind the whole time, not only pertaining to me… but to HIM as well._

_It brings me back to the question of loving two women… On one hand... the tall, fair-skinned Irish bitch with True IRA connections who happened to be the mother of his one and only daughter. And then there was me... the dark-skinned, full figured Brazilian hellcat with dark eyes and an attitude to match, and I too have the IRA family connection... it make's you think doesn't it? Yeah well, me too._

_Coming back to present... after all's said and done I found myself back there… in Charming… a little older, a little wiser and most importantly much more dangerous. The one thing that stuck out in my mind was… WHY? Why there… of all places? Sometimes I thought it was a simple answer but I still questioned myself… Back to business? Back to THEM? Back to HIM?_

_I guess that was yet to be seen… The one thing I did know was… I was back and it was time to pick up and make moves._


	2. Chapter 2

**Confession:**  
_In the last minutes of you life you relive the sequence of event that led you to that very moment... You start being completely honest with yourself as it flashes right in front of you. So here I am, confessing to you my truths..._

***Amelia***

It had been a month since I touched down state-side, and I was getting back into the swing of it all. Even though a lot had changed, there was a sense of comfort that Charming brought me... a familiarity if you will, with things of the past. but I needed to focus on the now, and "the now" was having to find legit income.

Don't get me wrong, getting back to "business" was easier than I thought it would be as Dro was keeping me busy enough. But my old life was over, it was just me now... and seeing that I was alone I would have to stay above the law.

Those thoughts brought back a lot of angry memories, leaving that proverbial "bad taste" in my mouth...The things that transpired the year before had left me wanting something. I wasn't sure what that was yet but I was more that willing to allow things to play out...

The deafening sound of my prepaid going off pulled me back to the present.

"Hello" The tone of my voice was a bit harsher then I would have liked it to be.

"Amelia?"

The voice on the other end was unmistakeable and it made my heart skip a beat. The man I've known my entire life as my godfather... Nero Padilla.

"Hello stranger. How'd you know..."

"Lia we have a problem, you need to get down to the police station and collect you father."

As soon as he spoke the words my heart was in overdrive. I don't think anger was the right way to describe how I felt in that moment.

He hung up the phone without another word, there was no point. I grabbed my keys and my purse and left the house

...

I walked into Charming PD on a mission... a million things were going through my head on my way over there. But I knew, more than anything, that I had to keep the raging beast within in check or this wasn't going to end well. I don't like tight spaces and prison worried me.

"Amelia Cezar herself," a familiar voice spoke making my insides clench up. "Come to bail out you old man I see."

"Alex Tragger, I should have known." I turned in Tig's direction "What'd he do?"

"Nice to see you too dollface." He half smiled at me before pulling me into a hug "Welcome back."

"Yeah" I shook my head after letting him go "Not so welcome... feels like I'm trespassing or something."

"You should feel that way... A whole month darling, and... nothing." Jax's voice was like a stab to my heart.

I was really hoping this 'face to face' would've happened on better terms. After all, it's been so long since I had been in the presents of the Sons, the last place I wanted to see them was in a police station.

"Back off biker." That voice belonged to my father and the beast within me started clawing it's way outward.

"You should be the last one talking about backing off." All I sawwas red "What the hell did you do?"

"That's no way to speak to me." He spoke calmly. That was an uncharacteristic move for a man like him "Respect..."

"RESPECT!?" I had to laugh "That goes both ways old man"

He looked as if he were going to respond but couldn't find the words. I took that moment to try to calm down. Moments like those were typical actions of my father. His way of sending a message.

Well message received loud and clear... and as the realization dawned on my face my father smiled smugly, that just pissed me off all over again.

"Where is Blake?" I asked as calmly as I could manage'

"Hell, if I know." Tony replied still as smug as ever "I called Terrance, he's coming to get me." He walked away, headed outside.

I had to take a deep breath because I was loosing control of... everything. But before I could follow suit I felt a strong hand grab my own... and I knew it could only be one person.

"Filip." I could only manage a whisper.

"Aye lass." He replied as gently as he could, while pulling on my chin forcing me to look at him.

My heart skipped a beat as soon as I looked into his dark eyes, but I knew that wasn't the time nor place for our reunion. He seemed to have the same sentiment and reluctantly let go of my hand.

Making my way outside to the parking lot the bikers followed silently...

Walking over to where my father was standing, smoking cigar, I still wanted answers...

"I thought we had a deal? What did you do?"

"Nothing" He blew out a long stream of smoke "Just a friendly visit"

I stared at him in disbelief. There was no winning with this man. "Nothing you do is friendly Tony"

He considered that for a moment. "You're right... well it's more of a warning then."

"Well you need to hear my warning." I stepped closer to him "Nothing, and I do mean nothing, goes down in this town... EVER. It's off limits."

"Message received. Loud and clear." He put both hands up in surrender "I'll honour our deal... for now."

I knew I should have been satisfied with that but it didn't feel right. Something about the way he spoke and the look in his eyes told me that this was far from over.

At that moment a Black Navigator pulled into the parking lot and out stepped Terrance, my fathers second in command. He shook his head as I walked my father over to the passenger side.

As Tony made himself comfortable in the front seat Terrance turned to me...

"What the fuck?!"

"That's a good question. I still don't know what he did." I shook my head

He sighed looking a little apologetic "Where the hell is Blake?"

"That's an even better question. I haven't seen him and Daddy doesn't know where he is. I'm not even sure how he got here."

"When I find him he'll answer for it. I promise. I know how you feel about keeping distance. This is just bullshit..." He held out his hand "It won't happen again."

Shaking his hand... I couldn't help the clenching feeling in the pit of my stomach "Let's hope you find him before I do." I chuckled, more to myself... "I'll be in touch."

He nodded once to me and then to Tig and the boys before jumping back into the drivers seat. It only took a few seconds before he was pulling out of the parking lot and speeding away.

"How'd you know he was here?" Filip's voice rang out behind me. For a second I had forgotten they were there.

"Nero called me."

"Yeah figured as much..." Jax nodded at me... we had a simple understanding.

"Is it true?" Filip asked the question but there was something hidden in his words.

"You're going to have to be a little more specific than that love." I turned in their direction

"His warning..." I was hearing his words but I had no idea, at the time, what he's talking about and the blank expression on my face prompted him to continue "His power of persuasion... if we step out of line he will exertthat power and this time it will be more damaging than what he's already done to you."

I just stood there in silent disbelief. Power was the one thing my father was good at. And he made damn sure everybody felt the weight of that power, especially me.

"So then the damage is real?" Tig's words were carefully measured, as he held my gaze "If it is dollface..."

"The damage is done" I cut him off. "My fight... and it will get answered for."

Had I said too much? Had I said enough? I couldn't be sure. There were mixed expression on all of there faces. But that wasn't the time nor was it the place to explain. And I meant what I said... this was my fight.

"Can I expect to see you all for dinner?" I had to take the silence as an opportunity to change that subject.

"Yeah, we'll all be there." Jax was the one to speak. "One big happy family."

"I think that's mom's whole plan with this. Trying to get things as back to normal as possible. Her way of doing her part for the family" I couldn't meet his eyes. But I knew he was trying to stare a whole through me.

"Aye lass" Filip stepped towards me and pulled me into a hug. "You and I... we have a lot of talking to do." He whispered in my ear before letting me go

"I know, full disclosure..." I nodded before turning to the others. "Mom expects you to be there at a decent hour. I have some things I have to take care of, shouldn't take long."

Tig and Jax nodded at me, both with mixed expressions on there faces. But Filip knew exactly what I meant... I knew this by the way he squeezed my hand before walking away towards their bikes. That made me nervous, to know that he felt in any way that I was taking a risk. But what I do comes with the family I'm in, and I had to do my part.

NOW...


	3. Chapter 3

**Confession:**_  
All is not always as it seems... case in point - The Felines; Mi Familia or at least they were a long time ago. As of now? They're dead to me and I have no problem making that a reality._

_You see, judgements are a dangerous thing and when left to the individual opinions of others it can do some serious damage. I should know, I made that mistake – I'm not proud to say – on more than one occasion... and believe me when I tell you, I paid for it, still am as a matter-of-fact. That's how I find myself alone now. _

_Life as I knew it went straight to hell 14 months ago at the hands of "Mi Familia"... Betrayal is a powerful thing._

_It was right around the time that I met SAMCRO, and I have to admit Clay was a little weary of us, "The Felines", and now that I think about it he was totally justified. _

_I believe it was a challenge for the Sons to remove themselves and how they operate in order to understand who The Felines were and how we functioned and conducted our own business._

_It was Jax who finally put it together; he put it in terms of an all female MC – we might-as-well had been the way things were playing out. But that's besides the point. We were compiled of 5 of the most dangerous and vengeful women in the world... and in putting those pieces together he dubbed me the crew's Sergeant-At-Arms, and I was fine with that._

_Honestly it made sense, at the time, with the things I did for my "sisters". _

_Yes that's right, we regarded ourselves as a sisterhood. We even had nicknames that defined pretty much who we were. All of us from different walks of life, having something particular to bring to the table. _

_Weather it be mob connections, or gangsters; drug lords or pure criminals and yes... even outlaw bikers... it didn't matter we were all in deep._

_But looking back on it now, I think on some sub-conscious level I felt out of place, always on the defensive... feeling as if I was walking on eggshells all the time... fearful even. Or maybe it was just my hotheaded nature showing them up for what they really were... Unstable. And that's putting it nicely._

_Betrayal is betrayal anyway you take it and believe me when I say – It will be answered for._


End file.
